One of our friends recently claimed that toddlers were like little drunken frat boys. On reflection, I think he’s right. Consider:

• They stumble around a lot, often crashing into things.
• They’re often unable to speak in complete sentences.
• Rapid mood swings, including the occasional maudlin episode.
• Trouble thinking of what they want to say. “Dad, I need, I need, I need….I need…a muffin.”
• Here’s something that happened recently: Eli says, “Everybody! Everybody! Watch this!” He then proceeds to hurl himself onto the ground.
• Then there are the hallucinations.
• Eli occasionally puts a colander on his head as a helmet and runs around the house shouting, “B-ball! B-ball! B-ball!”

If he starts doing milk jug stands, though, we’re calling a halt to all of this.