Perhaps He Should Have a Little Lampshade Hat

One of our friends recently claimed that toddlers were like little drunken frat boys. On reflection, I think he’s right. Consider:

  • They stumble around a lot, often crashing into things.
  • They’re often unable to speak in complete sentences.
  • Rapid mood swings, including the occasional maudlin episode.
  • Trouble thinking of what they want to say. “Dad, I need, I need, I need….I need…a muffin.”
  • Here’s something that happened recently: Eli says, “Everybody! Everybody! Watch this!” He then proceeds to hurl himself onto the ground.
  • Then there are the hallucinations.
  • Eli occasionally puts a colander on his head as a helmet and runs around the house shouting, “B-ball! B-ball! B-ball!”

If he starts doing milk jug stands, though, we’re calling a halt to all of this.

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