Roller Coaster

Today is the last day of Liza breastfeeding. I’ve had bittersweet feelings about the end all week.

With Eli, I was ready for it to be over. He was too busy to sit in my lap and nurse. He had to be there! Right now! There were things to do! And toys to play with! Nursing cramped his style and because of that, it was a big hassle for me. So I said goodbye to that stage with Eli with no hard feelings. He was my first child so I was ready for the next stage of his independence.

It’s different with Liza. She’s been an excellent nurser. For a while now she has greeted me after nap with the sign for milk and a hopeful gleam in her eye. She’s always liked the milk and she’s been good at staying on task while eating. She would do it quickly and then be ready for a couple of games of peek-a-boo or patty cake. The best part is when she is nursing she’s too busy to let out that bone melting screech. And Liza? She has enough independence for three children. Her needing to nurse is something that I could actually do for her that she couldn’t do herself.

Also, this is it for me. No more babies to nurse. We are at capacity at Casa Granade and it is good. But I’m finding it harder to let the nursing go because of that.

A few days ago, our friends Aaron and Joyce had a baby. They are caught up in the first baby newness of it all. Zachary Xavier is being a difficult nurser and Joyce is tired and worried. I remember those days with Eli when every three hour segment of the day was the longest of emotional roller coaster rides. And now here I am at the end of this particular ride and for a few moments I almost want to get back in line and go again.

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