Comment by Lucian Smith

I think I read this story in a book of fables or something when I was a kid.

“A rabbi didn’t want to write a sermon. He procrastinated until the very moment it was time for him to get up and preach to his congregation. ‘Do you know what I’m going to preach to you today?’ he asked his congregation. ‘No!’ they replied. ‘Why should I waste my time on such an ignorant lot!’ he exclaimed, and went and sat back down. And he didn’t have to preach a sermon… until the next week.

“The next week, he again procrastinated, so when it was time for him to get up and preach, he again asked, ‘Do you know what I’m going to preach to you today?’ ‘Yes!’ replied his congregation, remembering the previous week. ‘Well, no sense in me bothering to preach to you, then,’ he said, and sat back down. And he didn’t have to preach a sermon… until the next week.

“The next week, he asked again, ‘Do you know what I’m going to preach to you today?’ ‘No!’ replied some of his congregation, remembering the previous week. ‘Yes!’ replied the rest of his congregation, remembering two weeks ago. ‘Well, those of you that know, tell those of you who don’t,’ he said, and sat back down. And he didn’t have to preach a sermon… until the next week.

Posted on April 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm

Comment by Xdpaul

I’d love an introductory speech that goes something like: “He needs no introduction. So I won’t introduce him. Just read the blurb in the program. He told me the start of his speech isn’t very good anyway.”

Posted on April 7, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Comment by siliconchef

I ran into this as a toastmaster at a convention in January. My solution:

“This man needs no introduction, but I’m going to do one anyway because otherwise I have no need to be here …”

Posted on April 7, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Comment by Gunther

With one exception: That episode of Futurama.

Posted on April 9, 2008 at 6:24 am