You Don’t Know What an Ad Hominem Argument Is, You Moron

Look, idiot, it’s clear to everyone here: you don’t know what an ad hominem argument is. We’ve tried to be polite about it on the assumption that someone as lead-brick thick as you deserves some slack, but c’mon.

Let me see if I can explain this in teeny tiny words that you might understand, you giant cesspool of stupid. When you argue, you may want to say that the other guy’s wrong because of who he is or what he believes, and because you are a sucking chest wound disguised as a person you go ahead and do it. Someone says, “I don’t support the death penalty, because people are so often falsely convicted that you’re likely to kill an innocent man.” You, being a pudding-slurping three year old, trot out something like this:

“Sure you’d say that. You’re a liberal.”

See that? That’s an ad hominem argument. You’re not saying why they’re wrong, just that they’re wrong because of who they are or what they believe.

Then maybe the guy you’re arguing with replies:

“That’s a stupid argument, you idiot.”

See that? That is not an ad hominem argument, you towering genius of stupidity. An insult isn’t an ad hominem argument, and not just because it’s true in your case. If you’re not saying that the other guy is wrong because of who he is, it’s not ad hominem.

I know you don’t see the difference, since you’re ten pounds of stupid in a two-pound baggie. But maybe this will shame you into not screaming “ad hominem!” every time someone points out your myriad shortcomings.

I’m not holding my breath, though, even though I’m downwind of you.

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