Car Seats and Vomit Don’t Mix, Trust Me on This

WARNING: This post contains graphic descriptions of vomit and the resulting cleanup. Please don’t read any further if you are eating your lunch or if you have a queazy stomach. Just know that we got off to a very bad start this morning…

Also note that Eli had dubbed my long-time friend Alana, Lana Bob! She will be known from now on as Lana Bob! I’ve even changed her link down on the left.

Eli woke me up crying. This should have been my clue that the day would not be a normal one. However, once I got him out of the crib, he seemed fine. We ate breakfast and got ready to go to the gym with Lana Bob! since we didn’t go yesterday. We were about half way there when I heard the retching sounds from the back seat.

Now, in his defense Eli is able to make this combination cough/hiccough/wheeze sound that always gets my attention because when he makes it, it sounds as if vomit is sure to follow. I’m fairly certain that he can now make it on command simply because it always causes my head to whip around as if on ball bearings and since he is a boy, that amuses him. So I was sort of amazed when I whipped my head around this morning and actually witnessed vomit flying out of his mouth.

Thank God that I have a cold this week as that is the only thing that allowed me to drive home without retching myself over the smell. Lana Bob! was not so lucky. As we pulled into the garage, she was frantically trying to get out of the car to keep from throwing up in sympathy.

During the ride home, Eli said multiple times, “I’m okay, Mom.” The interesting part was he did seem to be in better shape than either Lana Bob! or me.

Once we got home came the truly gross part. Removing Eli from the orange vomit covered car seat. I took him into the laundry room and started chucking his clothing straight into the washer. We went from there to the bathtub because of course, taking Eli’s shirt off caused us to get vomit in his hair.

Stephen hadn’t left for work yet so he very kindly, and while dressed in work-approved khakis and polo, removed the car seat from the car and started disassembling it. My clever, clever husband had installed the car seat into the car on top of an old towel, so luckily no Buick Le Sabre’s were harmed in the previously described vomit spree.

After his speedy bath and redressing, I went out to help with the car seat take apart. During that process I got vomit lodged under my fingernails. That’s where I nearly lost it. I assembled the sprayer on the water hose and carted the plastic shell of the seat over to the grass to hose it down, mostly with my eyes closed and trying desperately not to breath through my nose. Also, did I mention that the temperature has dropped noticeably in the past couple of days? It’s noon and still below 70°. So I’m doing this crazy cleaning dance while in my exercise clothes and trying to avoid the frigid water spray.

I find it fascinating how my mind sorta blanked out so I could accomplish the tasks at hand. I’ve often wondered how my mom dealt with vomit when I was a kid. I have such a sensitive nose that Stephen and I made a pact before we had kids that he would deal with the vomit and I would deal with the blood. He apologized as he was leaving for work that he didn’t have time to do more for us this morning. What he doesn’t know was that he did the job I had no idea how I was going to do: get the disgusting car seat out of the car.

I did manage to get the car seat base washed off and all the straps and buckles washed. The seat cover is drying after it’s trip through the washing machine. And we are marooned at home while it all dries. The poor car seat manual was a loss however, since it is rather stupidly stored under the seat. One short call to the manufacturer and I have .pdf of the manual sitting in my inbox. I forwarded it to Stephen so he could print it out double sided.

Through all these machinations poor Lana Bob! was trying to keep her cool and still get ready to go to her lunch meeting/interview with Jessica and Ashley’s company. She was a trooper through it all and managed to head out the door this morning looking cool and put together. Eli has watched his week’s worth of tv just this morning. He’s managed now to keep a whole package of crackers down and drink two cups of water. Frankly, I’m starting to wonder if he planned the whole episode just to skip the gym, get to watch tv all morning long, and eat his favorite food, crackers.

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