Dealing With the Pushback

I have joked from time to time about Eli reaching his terrible twos, but here lately we’ve been dealing with a whole range of behavior ranging from the annoying to the downright troublesome. He has moved from testing the limits to hurling his little body at the fences and trying to break through. This has culminated in him getting in trouble at school last week. Tuesday he was pushing other children, and when he was told to go sit in time out, he told the teachers, “No!” After a bit of that, he got to go to the office. That meant that Misty got to go to the office when she went to pick him up. Thursday there were more shennanigans, though thankfully the office was not involved.

I understand that this is just what toddlers do, honest. And I know that Eli is practically a saint compared to many other toddlers, capable of walking across a river of milk flowing from overturned sippy cups. That doesn’t keep me from becoming so annoyed that I don’t want to spend time with him, making me feel even worse when I calm down later.

This misbehavior comes in waves that last a few weeks at most, so I’m holding on and waiting for this to pass. Then again, a woman at church told me, “Oh, they don’t act better when they get older. They act differently.” She had this big grin on her face, the kind that is a neon advertisement for the “misery loves company” bromide.

So I pushed her down and then ran from the teacher.

8 thoughts on “Dealing With the Pushback

  1. “So I pushed her down and then ran from the teacher.”

    Good for you. I hate the smug “more experienced parent” bit. Actually, I’m getting the smug “been pregnant already” bit. “Oh, yeah, just wait! Morning sickness! Labor Pains! Hahaha!!!”

    I might just start adopting your strategy. Except that I *am* the teacher.

    Let’s make a pact. You never pull “more experienced parent” on me, and I’ll never pull “been pregnant already” on anyone who comes after.

  2. Nonononoono!!! Just, whenever I mention to anyone that we’re trying, I get the smug “been pregnant already” bit. “Oh, you just wait!” Makes me all eager to be pregnant, I can tell you. 😛

  3. Joyous: You probably already guessed this, but it doesn’t ever stop. When we were in the delivery room preparing for our third child, one of the nurses asked me, with a sort of smile on her face if this was our first. When I said “Nope, our third”, she turned away from me, and actually seemed disappointed! I got the impression she was ready to launch into her “guess what you’re in for!” monologue.

    Although, to be honest, speaking from the other side of the fence, it takes a conscious effort to avoid the knowledgier-than-thou attitude.

    p.s. good luck – it took us over a year of trying before we were successful with our first. Hope you fare better.

  4. It’s tough to avoid all the attitudes.

    I have a hard time not trying to meet unnamed expectations.

    Example: We went to the dentist yesterday. They have a space capsule in the waiting area, presumably for the kids to play on while waiting for their turn. All the kids (all older) were playing quietly while mine was running willy nilly up and down the stairs, doing countdowns at the top of his voice and just generally having a good time. Two mothers on my side of the room were visibly cringing over the noise, I guess.

    I asked him several times to quiet down. I didn’t say anything about the running because I was pretty sure anything short of tying him to a chair wasn’t going to make that happen. When he didn’t dial down the volume after several attempts I made him sit in the chair beside me for a couple of minutes. This, of course, produced lots of whining.

    While he was doing that, I was thinking to myself about those two women, “Bet you gals are enjoying the whining way more than the happy (too loud) laughter.”

    The side note to this story is that when we got to the dentist’s chair, he was great. He sat patiently and let them dig around in his mouth. Both the girl who cleaned his teeth and the dentist said they had much older patients who wouldn’t sit as well as Eli or for as long. So while we made a great impression on the dentist, the people waiting in the waiting room, not so much.

  5. Joyous: My cousin and his wife are pregnant, and I am really being careful to not cross the line between “offering helpful advice *when asked*” and the “oh have no clue what is going to happen next, do you?”. It’s easy for me to remember how much I hated it when it happened to me, so that is at least helping me to watch what I say.

    But even now, I still get a lot of the “you think this is tough? Wait till…” on the rare occassions I do confide in an “experienced” parent. Of course, on the other hand, when I confide in Misty, she is nothing but encouraging and helpful, so maybe I just need to talk to Misty and not bother with the others!

  6. Many good thoughts to you Joyous. It can be difficult.

    Stephen, I feel for you. I hope that Eli gets through this pretty quickly for all of your sanities.

  7. Well, I think that the important thing was that this clearly was on his mind … after all, when I asked him Friday what was new with him, getting in trouble was the first thing he told me about. Like the supportive single guy-and-friend that I aspire to be, I solemnly admonished him and reminded him that it might be good to do what the teacher asks.

    And dangit, I missed my opportunity to pull the God card and really have y’all hate me for that one. 😆

    But seriously, I’m glad that he was thinking of it, because I’m hoping that it makes it sink in a little faster.

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