It Appears I Am an Evil Overlord

When I went to Governor’s School in Arkansas, one of the things they did is have us take a test to determine our Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This was the full MBTI test, mind you, with what seemed like thousands and thousands of questions. I came out as an E/INTJ. Later tests I took gave me the same results.

I was always skeptical about how well my MBTI designation really matched my personality. “Decisive”? Sometimes. “Needing to make plans”? A little yes; a little no.

That was before I discovered what the MBTI types really mean. It turns out I’m actually an Evil Overlord.

ENTJs usually die at the hand of secret government agents in a fiery cataclysm that destroys their entire underground fortress. Often, Evil Overlords will have a secret clone whose implanted memories contain all the knowledge and ambition of the original, stored in cryonic suspension in a safe location. The clone will appear in a sequel.

Yes indeed. Soon I shall be invincible.

9 thoughts on “It Appears I Am an Evil Overlord

  1. Oh Lord, this is so true:

    RECREATION: ENTPs enjoy recreational activities which challenge them physically and intellectually, such as water skiing and porting Linux to their iPods. They are also fond of collecting gadgets like combination cellpone/PDAs and orbiting arsenals of brain lasers, which they may port Linux to as well.

    COMPATIBILITY: ENTPs and ENTJs make natural companions, as the one’s unspeakable hunger for power complements the other’s unspeakable hunger for knowledge. They do not generally build successful relationships with ESFJs, as ENTPs they are prone to behaving in inconveniently erratic ways, which pisses ESFJs off to no end; and because ENTPs simply do not know how to dress appropriately for formal occasions.

    Hey Stephen … I have this idea for an orbiting laser that we launch to orbit using a Pinto for fuel and NTO for an oxidizer … we wrap the laser in aluminum foil and hope for the best. You got some free time Saturday? I should be on prototype #2 by then!

    Peace, love, and rocket fuel …

    GFM

  2. INTJ: The outside contractor

    INTJs are solid, competent personalities who may seem aloof and even arrogant, but who are typically highly skilled in any field which interests them. INTJs are confident in their skills and knowledge, self-assured, and imaginitive; their exceptional problem-solving skills make them ideal architects, auto mechanics, and tools of the evil empire. While it requires the driving will to conquer of an ENTJ to imagine the Death Star and the evil genius of an ENTP to invent its devastating weapons systems, the skill and technical prowess of the INTJ is what makes the whole thing work.

    The INTJ sees life as a problem to be solved. For that reason, the INTJ is the person a company brings in from the outside to streamline production processes and identify redundant assets for termination. The INTJ’s combination of analyticial problem-solving skills and complete and utter disregard for the morality or consequences of his actions also make him ideal for the job of hatchet man, CIA operative, and helpdesk operator.

    RECREATION: INTJs are often baffled by the strange and incomprehensible recreational rituals of other people, such as going to parties, watching television, and having sex. Instead, they prefer to spend their leisure time installing twin missile launchers in their cars to deter tailgaters and playing chess with megalomaniac CEOs of the Tyrell corporation.

    COMPATIBILITY: Silly person, INTJs don’t have relationships! They may, however build their own friends.

    Hmmm… an interesting plan, Geof. However, I am unsure if aluminum foil will survive the intense heat caused by friction as the missile passes through Earth’s atmosphere. No, scratch that– I am completely sure that aluminum foil will not survive the intense heat caused by friction as the missile passes through Earth’s atmosphere. Not to worry, though– I’ll drop by with a few sheets of steel, a welding torch, and a couple canisters of polyisocyanurate foam. Keep that aluminum foil around, though– we can bake it and powder it, then combine it with ammonium perchlorate, RTV, and a touch of nitroglycerin to make solid rocket propellant for the Pinto. I have a brilliant, nasty idea for the laser as well– send me the schematics.

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