What Would George W. “Lame Duck” Bush Nickname You?

We were gone last week to Arkansas to hear my brother Andrew perform at Ouachita Baptist University, our alma mater, where he played John Cage’s Sonatas and Interludes for prepared piano and taught a class about Cage. Cage’s prepared piano pieces: where artsy music meets Home Depot’s hardware aisle.

Andrew was nice enough to let me help him prepare the piano. Music students attentively watched us jam screws and bolts into the school’s Kawai piano. (Not, you’ll note, the Fazioli.) My favorite part was when our fabulous prior music instructor, Dr. George Keck, introduced us to the students. They were polite enough when Dr. Keck mentioned Andrew’s Ph.D. in musicology from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. However, when he mentioned that my doctorate in physics was from Duke, they gasped. “I didn’t get an ‘oooh!'” Andrew said plaintively.

Andrew’s concert was brilliant as expected, because he is brilliant. But that’s not what this post is about. Nor is it about us paying $2 a gallon for gas. ($2 a gallon! Dump the milk, Misty! From now on the cat drinks unleaded!) It’s about political nicknames.

See, since I was back in Arkansas, I got to read the local Arkansas paper. And Thursday’s paper had an article on candidates’ nicknames that are appearing on ballots today. There’s Micky D. “Stubby” Stumbaugh, who’s running for Cabot alderman and who was short and chubby as a child, and Wallace “Bunkey” Bauer, who’s running for Bauxite alderman and who bunked with his older brother growing up. The best, though, is Wayne “Pokechop” White, candidate for Warren alderman. “He got the nickname 13 years ago after eating pork chops for lunch 30 days in a row.” Maybe there’s something about Arkansas aldermen that brings out the nicknames.

Heard any good politician’s nicknames that can beat Pokechop?

5 thoughts on “What Would George W. “Lame Duck” Bush Nickname You?

  1. Ooh, ooh! Can I run as Joyce “Cunning Linguist” Lanterman? (Not sure what I’d run for; I don’t think it matters, as long as I get to use the nickhame.)

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