You Don’t Know What an Ad Hominem Argument Is, You Moron

Look, idiot, it’s clear to everyone here: you don’t know what an ad hominem argument is. We’ve tried to be polite about it on the assumption that someone as lead-brick thick as you deserves some slack, but c’mon.

Let me see if I can explain this in teeny tiny words that you might understand, you giant cesspool of stupid. When you argue, you may want to say that the other guy’s wrong because of who he is or what he believes, and because you are a sucking chest wound disguised as a person you go ahead and do it. Someone says, “I don’t support the death penalty, because people are so often falsely convicted that you’re likely to kill an innocent man.” You, being a pudding-slurping three year old, trot out something like this:

“Sure you’d say that. You’re a liberal.”

See that? That’s an ad hominem argument. You’re not saying why they’re wrong, just that they’re wrong because of who they are or what they believe.

Then maybe the guy you’re arguing with replies:

“That’s a stupid argument, you idiot.”

See that? That is not an ad hominem argument, you towering genius of stupidity. An insult isn’t an ad hominem argument, and not just because it’s true in your case. If you’re not saying that the other guy is wrong because of who he is, it’s not ad hominem.

I know you don’t see the difference, since you’re ten pounds of stupid in a two-pound baggie. But maybe this will shame you into not screaming “ad hominem!” every time someone points out your myriad shortcomings.

I’m not holding my breath, though, even though I’m downwind of you.

8 thoughts on “You Don’t Know What an Ad Hominem Argument Is, You Moron

  1. It’s true. I always thought it was just a fancy way of saying “add more corn”. But I’ve done learnt it now, despite your being so foul-mouthed and crotchety because you’re a rocket scientist.

  2. Wow! Where did this come from? There was speculation that “Dealin’ Doug” had something to do with this. But, if that’s the case, there must have been some “behind the scenes” action that the rest of us are not aware of!

    Not sure if “I hope you feel better” is the right quip here, but I hope whomever ticked you off this badly (unless I’m really dense and missing a joke somewhere) has gotten the message and never riles you up like this again….

    It was scary! (but really, REALLY good! LOL)

  3. Nah, nothing here prompted it. I had seen one too many discussions online devolve into flames, with people on each side accusing the other side of “ad hominem attacks” when they really just meant they were insulting each other.

  4. Doc,

    I can always count on you to make me spit grape amp all over my monitor at least once a month.

    And now…a quote in response to whomever prompted this little rant

    “What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this conversation is now dumber having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul”

    Thank you … try the veal…dont forget to tip your waiters and bartenders…I’ll be here all week.

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