Kids and Cages Go Together Like Apples and Razor Blades

Several years ago, Eli climbed into a dog cage, so of course we took a picture. Ten months later we got hate mail about it.

A few months ago, comic book writer Matt Fraction took a picture of his kid in a dog crate.

Because my mind works lighting fast, yesterday I thought, “I wonder how many pictures of kids in dog crates I can find.”

The answer? Lots and lots and lots and even more lots. Enough lots for thousands of pillars of salt.

One baby in a dog cage

One kid in a dog cage!

Two kids in a dog cage

TWO kids in a dog cage!

Three toddlers in a dog cage.

THREE kids in a dog cage!

Four kids in a dog cage


Danger: Kids in dog cages will bite!

Sometimes the kids are dangerous.

Two twins in dog cages.

Sometimes they are cloned.

I feel like I have stumbled into a subculture I never knew existed, like finding out that people write WOPR/KITT slashfic. I think I’m going to declare this a new movement, write a book, and get on Oprah. Clearly it’s time parents stopped claiming that their kids aren’t like pets at all.