{"id":1243,"date":"2008-01-29T09:25:11","date_gmt":"2008-01-29T15:25:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/granades.com\/2008\/01\/29\/bad-love-songs-of-the-1990s\/"},"modified":"2008-01-28T21:29:16","modified_gmt":"2008-01-29T03:29:16","slug":"bad-love-songs-of-the-1990s","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=1243","title":{"rendered":"Bad Love Songs of the 1990s"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday I claimed that the 1990s were terrible years for pop songs about love. Then I wondered, was I being too hard on the decade?<\/p>\n

I tell you what: you judge.<\/p>\n

Bryan Adams: (Everything I Do) I Do It for You (1991)<\/b>
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In 1991 you could not escape this song. Even if you avoided the radio and didn’t turn on your TV, A&M Records would send men into your house to duct tape a Walkman and its earphones to your head. “I can’t help it,” Adams croons as the song swells gently to a crescendo worthy of a bad sex scene in a low-rent romance novel.<\/p>\n

Aerosmith: I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing (1998)<\/b>
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“I could stay awake just to hear you breathing\/Watch you smile while you are sleeping”. Imagine, if you will, that you had a rough day and were asleep moments after you crawled in bed. Then you’re waking up, feeling relaxed and refreshed, ready to face a new day. You open your eyes and your bedroom comes into focus and suddenly in front of you is<\/p>\n

\"Steven<\/div>\n

And he tells you he’s been staring at you all night long<\/i>. I also note that Diane Warren, who wrote the song, has said that she originally wrote it for Celine Dion.<\/p>\n

Backstreet Boys: All I Have to Give (1997)<\/b>
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Jonathan Coulton’s song Soft Rocked By Me<\/i><\/a> contains the lyrics, “I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll listen to the things you say about the way you feel \/ I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll smile an understanding smile when your boyfriend calls \/ And you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll go, but you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll think of me”. All I Have to Give<\/i> is that passive “but I could love you if you’d let me!” approach taken seriously and somehow going quadruple platinum. This song is the anthem of Nice Guys(tm)<\/a> everywhere.<\/p>\n

Celine Dion: I Want You to Need Me (1999)<\/b>
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Celine Dion should hook up with the Backstreet Boys.<\/p>\n

Kenny Loggins: For the First Time (1997)<\/b>
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A decade after Footloose<\/i> and Danger Zone<\/i>, Kenny Loggins inexplicably reappeared on the charts with this Oscar-nominated song. Eyes, smiles, hands holding hands — there is no cliché safe from Loggins’s muse.<\/p>\n

Mariah Carey: Emotions (1991)<\/b>
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Everything about this song feels carefully and soullessly assembled, despite the number of times she says the word “feel”. And “I feel good, I feel nice”? Her singing may be full of high notes, but the emotions her lover inspires in her are barely two inches off of the floor.<\/p>\n

Extreme: More Than Words (1990)<\/b>
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If you really<\/i> loved me, you’d sleep with me.<\/p>\n

Richard Marx: Now and Forever (1994)<\/b>
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You’re holding a fortune heaven has given to you, huh? I wish you had kept holding it quietly. If you’re low on your RDA of love ballad string sections, this song should help.<\/p>\n

You know, I’ve been hard on the 1990s, but at least it didn’t give us this:<\/p>\n

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[tags]love songs, 1990s, music videos, too much vibrato, too many high notes, too many string sections, I can’t believe the album “The Best of Bread” has twenty whole songs[\/tags]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday I claimed that the 1990s were terrible years for pop songs about love. Then I wondered, was I being too hard on the decade? I tell you what: you judge. Bryan Adams: (Everything I Do) I Do It for You (1991) In 1991 you could not escape this song. Even if you avoided the … Continue reading Bad Love Songs of the 1990s<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1243"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1243\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}