{"id":241,"date":"2006-03-27T17:20:09","date_gmt":"2006-03-27T23:20:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/granades.com\/2006\/03\/27\/childrens-toys-scare-me\/"},"modified":"2006-04-15T15:42:16","modified_gmt":"2006-04-15T20:42:16","slug":"childrens-toys-scare-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=241","title":{"rendered":"Children&#8217;s Toys Scare Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At first, I didn&#8217;t realize this truism: toys are scary. I was too busy being sleep deprived after Eli&#8217;s birth to notice. Awareness crept up on me, as Eli accumulated more and more toys.<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t believe me. I can tell. In fact, you are thinking that I am sleep-deprived and hallucinating. It is true that I am hopped up on cough medicine, but this is no hallucination. Behold: a peep.<\/p>\n<p class=\"centerimage\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/images\/2006\/Mar\/peep.jpg\" alt=\"Giant Scary Stuffed Peep\" \/><\/p>\n<p>This is not the friendly marshmallow candy of yore. This is a gigantic peep, the kind that would stomp around large metropolitan areas when summoned accidentally by Ray Stantz. Peeps may be cute-but-bland when they are but an inch high, but they take on a frightening aspect at these sizes.<\/p>\n<p>Eli, of course, loves his peep.<\/p>\n<p>You may not appreciate just how large and scary the peep is from the above picture. The peep is the size of Eli&#8217;s head.<\/p>\n<p class=\"centerimage\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/images\/2006\/Mar\/peeponnahead.jpg\" alt=\"Eli's got a peep on his head\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Run! Hide the children!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At first, I didn&#8217;t realize this truism: toys are scary. I was too busy being sleep deprived after Eli&#8217;s birth to notice. Awareness crept up on me, as Eli accumulated more and more toys.<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t believe me. I can tell. In fact, you are thinking that I am sleep-deprived and hallucinating&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}