{"id":2959,"date":"2009-06-04T12:57:22","date_gmt":"2009-06-04T17:57:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/granades.com\/?p=2959"},"modified":"2009-06-04T13:05:59","modified_gmt":"2009-06-04T18:05:59","slug":"kids-and-cages-go-together-like-apples-and-razor-blades","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=2959","title":{"rendered":"Kids and Cages Go Together Like Apples and Razor Blades"},"content":{"rendered":"

Several years ago, Eli climbed into a dog cage, so of course we took a picture<\/a>. Ten months later we got hate mail about it<\/a>.<\/p>\n

A few months ago, comic book writer Matt Fraction took a picture of his kid in a dog crate<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Because my mind works lighting fast, yesterday I thought, “I wonder how many pictures of kids in dog crates I can find.”<\/p>\n

The answer? Lots<\/a> and lots<\/a> and lots<\/a> and even more lots<\/a>. Enough lots for thousands of pillars of salt.<\/p>\n

\"One<\/a><\/div>\n

One kid in a dog cage!<\/p>\n

\"Two<\/a><\/div>\n

TWO kids in a dog cage!<\/p>\n

\"Three<\/a><\/div>\n

THREE<\/b> kids in a dog cage!<\/p>\n

\"Four<\/a><\/div>\n

FOUR KIDS IN A CAGE!<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Danger:<\/a><\/div>\n

Sometimes the kids are dangerous.<\/p>\n

\"Two<\/a><\/div>\n

Sometimes they are cloned.<\/p>\n

I feel like I have stumbled into a subculture I never knew existed, like finding out that people write WOPR\/KITT slashfic. I think I’m going to declare this a new movement, write a book, and get on Oprah. Clearly it’s time parents stopped claiming that their kids aren’t like pets at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Several years ago, Eli climbed into a dog cage, so of course we took a picture. Ten months later we got hate mail about it. A few months ago, comic book writer Matt Fraction took a picture of his kid in a dog crate. Because my mind works lighting fast, yesterday I thought, “I wonder … Continue reading Kids and Cages Go Together Like Apples and Razor Blades<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2959","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2959"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2959\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2971,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2959\/revisions\/2971"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}