{"id":2987,"date":"2009-06-10T13:05:18","date_gmt":"2009-06-10T18:05:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/granades.com\/?p=2987"},"modified":"2009-06-10T13:05:18","modified_gmt":"2009-06-10T18:05:18","slug":"the-360-is-better-than-cats","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=2987","title":{"rendered":"The 360 is Better Than <i>Cats<\/i>"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Look what I got!<\/p>\n<div class=\"centerimage\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/far-xbox-360.jpg\" alt=\"An Xbox 360\" title=\"It&#039;s all swoopy and futuristic.\" width=\"349\" height=\"280\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2994\" srcset=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/far-xbox-360.jpg 349w, https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/far-xbox-360-300x240.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<p>That&#8217;s right, thanks to Misty&#8217;s gift, I&#8217;ve leapt into the future of 2005. Finally I can play <i>Bioshock<\/i> on my TV, like God intended.<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s that, Xbox 360? What do you mean, an interloper?<\/p>\n<div class=\"centerimage\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/original-xbox.jpg\" alt=\"A picture of my first-generation Xbox\" title=\"It&#039;s a first generation Xbox. That&#039;s worth something, right?\" width=\"349\" height=\"152\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2995\" srcset=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/original-xbox.jpg 349w, https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/original-xbox-300x130.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<p>Oh, him? First-generation Xbox? He&#8217;s harmless. I mean, it&#8217;s not like he&#8217;s really any threat to someone like you, with your &#8212;<\/p>\n<div class=\"centerimage\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/medium-xbox-360.jpg\" alt=\"A closer view of the Xbox 360\" title=\"What? Why are you looking at me like that?\" width=\"349\" height=\"280\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2992\" srcset=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/medium-xbox-360.jpg 349w, https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/medium-xbox-360-300x240.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<p>Kill it? No! That&#8217;s crazy talk! That Xbox has served us faithfully. I&#8217;m going to send him to a farm in upstate New York, where he can frolic in the fields and &#8212;<\/p>\n<div class=\"centerimage\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/close-xbox-360.jpg\" alt=\"A closer view of the Xbox 360\" title=\"Why are you staring at me with that accusing power button?\" width=\"349\" height=\"280\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2991\" srcset=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/close-xbox-360.jpg 349w, https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/close-xbox-360-300x240.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<p>I won&#8217;t do it! I won&#8217;t!<\/p>\n<div class=\"centerimage\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/red-ring-of-death.jpg\" alt=\"Glaring red ring of death Xbox 360\" title=\"I&#039;m sorry, Stephen, I&#039;m afraid you must do that.\" width=\"349\" height=\"280\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2990\" srcset=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/red-ring-of-death.jpg 349w, https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/red-ring-of-death-300x240.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"centerimage\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/smashed-original-xbox.jpg\" alt=\"A smashed original Xbox.\" title=\"It was coming right for me. I had no other choice.\" width=\"349\" height=\"280\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2989\" srcset=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/smashed-original-xbox.jpg 349w, https:\/\/granades.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/smashed-original-xbox-300x240.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<p>Oh, well. It had to be done.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Look what I got! That&#8217;s right, thanks to Misty&#8217;s gift, I&#8217;ve leapt into the future of 2005. Finally I can play Bioshock on my TV, like God intended. What&#8217;s that, Xbox 360? What do you mean, an interloper? Oh, him? First-generation Xbox? He&#8217;s harmless. I mean, it&#8217;s not like he&#8217;s really any threat to someone &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=2987\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">The 360 is Better Than <i>Cats<\/i><\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2987"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2987\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3000,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2987\/revisions\/3000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}