{"id":345,"date":"2006-06-23T15:39:31","date_gmt":"2006-06-23T20:39:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/granades.com\/2006\/06\/23\/perhaps-he-should-have-a-little-lampshade-hat\/"},"modified":"2006-06-23T15:39:31","modified_gmt":"2006-06-23T20:39:31","slug":"perhaps-he-should-have-a-little-lampshade-hat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=345","title":{"rendered":"Perhaps He Should Have a Little Lampshade Hat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>One of our friends recently claimed that toddlers were like little drunken frat boys. On reflection, I think he&#8217;s right. Consider:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>They stumble around a lot, often crashing into things.<\/li>\n<li>They&#8217;re often unable to speak in complete sentences.<\/li>\n<li>Rapid mood swings, including the occasional maudlin episode.<\/li>\n<li>Trouble thinking of what they want to say. &#8220;Dad, I need, I need, I need&#8230;.I need&#8230;a muffin.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Here&#8217;s something that happened recently: Eli says, &#8220;Everybody! Everybody! Watch this!&#8221; He then proceeds to hurl himself onto the ground.<\/li>\n<li>Then there are the <a href=\"\/2006\/06\/22\/conversation-over-breakfast-geof-dont-read-this\/\">hallucinations<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Eli occasionally puts a colander on his head as a helmet and runs around the house shouting, &#8220;B-ball! B-ball! B-ball!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If he starts doing milk jug stands, though, we&#8217;re calling a halt to all of this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of our friends recently claimed that toddlers were like little drunken frat boys. On reflection, I think he&#8217;s right&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-345","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=345"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}