Friday night I was hit with a short bout of the Peruvian death flu. I had aches in all of my joints, felt chilled, and was too weak to play with Eli. “Carry me, daddy,” Eli would say, and there was nothing I could do.<\/p>\n
At one point I was lying on the couch and groaning feebly.<\/p>\n
Me: I think I have a fever.
\nMisty: The only thermometer we have in the house is the baby thermometer.
\nMe: Well, stick it up my ass and call me Junior.<\/p>\n
At which point I realized what I had said and turned to stare at Eli, who was looking delighted. He walked over to the couch.<\/p>\n
Eli: S!
\nMe: …
\nEli: I needa S!<\/p>\n
Just as M&Ms are M’s for the letter stamped on them, Skittles are S’es. I’ve never been saved by a homophone before.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Friday night I was hit with a short bout of the Peruvian death flu. I had aches in all of my joints, felt chilled, and was too weak to play with Eli. “Carry me, daddy,” Eli would say, and there was nothing I could do. At one point I was lying on the couch and … Continue reading Slang for “Candy”<\/span>