Now that the Harry Potter movies are over, I expect that there are movie executives scrambling around, trying to discover the next big thing. Since young adult books are still popular, I expect that’ll be their focus — perhaps the Hunger Games trilogy or Cassandra Clare’s The Mortal Instruments<\/i> series will garner a huge audience.<\/p>\n
I have a humble suggestion: why not re-work the Harry Potter series? After all, with a few tweaks I think you could bring in a whole new audience. To that end, I give you a scene from<\/p>\n
RICHIE DAWKINS AND THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE<\/p>\n
INT. SHACK BY THE OCEAN – NIGHT<\/p>\n
The room in this broken-down shack is dominated by KEMPTID, a giant of a man with an umbrella. He is talking with RICHIE, a young eleven-year-old with round glasses and dark hair.<\/p>\n
KEMPTID
\n Y’see, Richie, yer’ a wizard.<\/p>\n
RICHIE
\n I’m a what?<\/p>\n
KEMPTID
\n A wizard, o’ course, and a thumpin’ good’un, I’d say, once yeh’ve trained up a bit.<\/p>\n
RICHIE
\n That makes no logical sense.<\/p>\n
KEMPTID
\n What d’yeh mean?<\/p>\n
RICHIE
\n Look, there isn’t any such thing as magic. The universe can be perfectly explained by the natural laws of science.<\/p>\n
KEMPTID
\n (taken aback)
\n But, but yer parents–<\/p>\n
RICHIE
\n They died in a car crash.<\/p>\n
KEMPTID
\n No<\/i>. He Who Must Not be Named, a dark wizard, killed ’em!<\/p>\n
RICHIE
\n Really? That’s more plausible than a car crash? There are a little over two thousand car-related deaths per annum in the UK. Do the math.<\/p>\n
KEMPTID
\n But…but…all th’ letters, Richie! And I c’n do magic with my umbrella!<\/p>\n
RICHIE
\n Any stage magician worth his salt could do the same. Your anti-scientific flim-flammery will find no toehold with me, sir. Now shove off. I’ve got a perfectly mundane life as a friendless orphan to live.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
I’m not sure how to spin this out into eight movies, though. Perhaps I should have taken the approach that Eliezer Yudkowsky took for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Now that the Harry Potter movies are over, I expect that there are movie executives scrambling around, trying to discover the next big thing. Since young adult books are still popular, I expect that’ll be their focus — perhaps the Hunger Games trilogy or Cassandra Clare’s The Mortal Instruments series will garner a huge audience. … Continue reading Continuing the Franchise<\/span>