{"id":545,"date":"2006-10-25T11:12:10","date_gmt":"2006-10-25T16:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/granades.com\/2006\/10\/25\/no-son-of-mines-gonna-be-no-wimp-no-sir\/"},"modified":"2006-10-25T11:39:21","modified_gmt":"2006-10-25T16:39:21","slug":"no-son-of-mines-gonna-be-no-wimp-no-sir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=545","title":{"rendered":"No Son of Mine&#8217;s Gonna Be No Wimp, No Sir"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>All parents think their children are the smartest, cutest, most clever kids that ever were and ever will be, and we are no exception. Eli is a paragon of toddlerhood. Of course, being a paragon is hard work, and on occasion Eli has to take a break from awesomeness.<\/p>\n<p>Take last week, for instance. Eli climbed up on a short stool at Misty&#8217;s dad&#8217;s house, then proceeded to tip it over. The stool had four legs, with green iron leaves and vines curling among them. Eli cut one hand open on a leaf. The cut was right at the V between thumb and forefinger, and was wide but shallow. The bleeding stopped soon.<\/p>\n<p>The whining went on for a bit, though. We slapped a band-aid on the wound. &#8220;Look, Eli! It&#8217;s Nemo! Nemo is helping you feel better!&#8221; Eli would stop crying for a minute or so. Then he would look at the band-aid on his left hand, a thoughtful look spreading across his face, and poke the band-aid hard with his right forefinger. &#8220;Owwwww!&#8221; he would cry, tears rolling down his face. &#8220;My hand hurts!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Then the band-aid was bothering him. &#8220;Take it off,&#8221; he told us, still crying, pulling ineffectually at the band-aid. When we took it off he went back to poking a fingernail in the wound every few minutes, and oh! the wailing! The gnashing of teeth! Why wouldn&#8217;t the cruel world stop forcing him to jab his scratch with a dirty fingernail?<\/p>\n<p>We went through several rounds of bandaging the wound and then removing the band-aid. At one point Eli was riding in the car, his thumb stuck straight up like he was trying to hitch-hike from his car seat. He would forget about the wound, stop crying, pick something up, and shriek like we had taken a blowtorch to Elmo.<\/p>\n<p>It took two days before he stopped sniffling every time his wounded hand touched anything, including the air. He still pokes at the healed hand even now and frowns. &#8220;Ow, my hand hurts!&#8221; He has become the boy who cried Ow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All parents think their children are the smartest, cutest, most clever kids that ever were and ever will be, and we are no exception. Eli is a paragon of toddlerhood. Of course, being a paragon is hard work, and on occasion Eli has to take a break from awesomeness. Take last week, for instance. Eli &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/granades.com\/?p=545\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">No Son of Mine&#8217;s Gonna Be No Wimp, No Sir<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/545","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=545"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/545\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=545"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=545"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/granades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=545"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}