the weekend has been busy mainly because we had a party with a bunch of fans, they fed me and played blocks with me and let me read in their laps and then i went to bed and they went home.
today dadadada left and he isn’t supposed to be back for a while but mamamama had a recording of his voice that she played from the box that rings every once in a while and i have a picture of him and me that i got to drag around today.
i have invented a new game, it involves my plastic alphabet blocks and the bucket of babies. i put the blocks in the bucket and dadadada helps and then he dumps the blocks on me and i kick them and push them away and it is really funny.
okay i guess you had to have been there.
so i found out mamamama and dadadada took these pictures of me on friday during the egg hunt and here they are.
this is me and a basket i don’t think it is mine but that’s okay it had tasty eggs
here is mamamama giving me an egg.
this is before i knew that tasty stuff was inside the egg so i was tasting its outside and it tasted all plastic.
see some eggs have cheerios in them.
now it is late so i am going to sleep. tomorrow i will tell you about the big fish i saw.
i forgot to tell everyone about hunting eggs on friday, it was fun, mamamama and dadadada both came to playgroup and we wandered around will’s backyard and picked up eggs. i do not know what kind of backyard will has because everyone knows eggs are in the refrigerator and not the backyard but whatever.
mamamama would never let me take an egg from the refrigerator and now i know why, it is because they are full of snacks like crackers and fruit snacks. next time i am in our refrigerator i will grab an egg from the refrigerator and break it open to get to the tasty insides.
sunday it was nursery full of babies and what was even better is that mamamama and dadadada kept all of us. at one point dadadada was chasing me and one of my friends around and i liked that. then three of us piled into this inner tube like thing and we were all ‘baby pile./’ baby piles are fun.
i realized that my plan to rent myself out to single men is limiting my customer base and as any economist will tell you that is silly unless you are a dot com in which case here have a suitcase of cash. anyway i should be renting myself out to single women as well. imagine that there is this creepy guy at work who hits on you and will not take no for an answer, you rent me and we go to work and you swing me around and play with me next to his office or cube or whatever. he will think you have a kid and will run away from you. if he is too persistent and asks something like ‘i did not know you have a kid’ you can say ‘oh no this is not my kid but i love kids and cannot wait to have three or four of them with the man of my dreams, of course he will stay home with them, here do you want to hold him, his name is eli’ and you will hand me to him and i will smile and then spit up on him.
if that does not work i will also give him cold germs.
mamamama did not wear green today and today is saint patricks day and you are supposed to wear green. she did not and that made today not a lot of fun.
we went to get gas in our car and she pumped gas but then something broke and there was gas everywhere, she got in the car smelling of dinosaurs. then she wasn’t happy although she did play with me when we got back home so she could shower. then she made us go shopping and that was boring because she had not put me in green either so it wasn’t any fun. at least we got to go to a car place afterwards and there were cars to play with.
but mamamama was grumpy like i am sometimes grumpy but not often. and we did so much that i was all tired out.
dadadada wore green and had a good day. this proves my point which is like where i am supposed to say q e d that means ‘who watches the watchmen.’
since the money from the bounceTM is not yet pouring in i need another way to pay for college and i have come up with a plan to rent myself out to single guys as a way to pick up women.
i have seen how women flock around dadadada when he carries me. now imagine you are single and there are gorgeous women so you go by with me like in a bookstore or something and stop and play with me some. then i wander up to the woman you select and look adorable and maybe lift up my arms like i want to be picked up. you go to her and apologize, and start talking. ‘cute kid,’ she says, and you are all ‘yes but he is not mine i am keeping him for a while. he belongs to some friends of mine and i wanted them to have some time of their own so i volunteered to keep eli because that is his name.’ and she will be all swoon and then you are set.
i have not decided yet how much i should charge for this.
it was time for new user pictures because the old ones were so before i was a year old and these new ones are new.
mamamama and dadadada have a new game they play with me, they say ‘eli what does a pirate say’ and i say ‘arr’. although r’s are hard so it’s more like a hoarse ‘aaaahhhhhhh’ but that is pretty close and is very scary.
i just realized that amazon will pay you money for recommending their books so i totally should have signed up for that before i linked to them in a comment because that would provide me with some college money while i wait for the bounceTM to really take off.