Monthly Archives: January 2006

Impress Others With Your Child

While I know all parents have different goals for their child and for how they parent, all are united by one fact: they want to impress strangers with their child’s abilities. To help with that, I offer my guide to making your baby impressive. The following techniques require decent fine motor skills and an ability […]

Oh the Humanity

First I came home from work to find Eli watching Gilmore Girls with Misty.

Then I found out that, in the morning, he goes into Misty’s closet to help her pick out jewelry. He chooses necklaces and earrings, holding them up and saying, “Cuuuuuuuuute.”

Tonight he pulled a cup and bowl towards him and said, “Play tea […]

The Evolution of Cute

Originally, children were not cute. It’s not that they were ugly; it’s that they lacked a certain something that made them cute. This resulted in a lot of attrition: when the children would cry or destroy things or in general be unappealing, parents couldn’t say, “Oh, but isn’t he cute when he’s nice?” Instead they’d […]

The Only Cure is More Cowbell

The Boy has a fever, which means his temper tantrums now include a quickly-ascending shriek that has shattered three windows and my eyeglasses so far. This illness coincides nicely with him having gone to the doctor yesterday morning. The doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with him. Four hours later he had a 102-degree fever.

He’s only […]

Making Requests

Misty went in to free Eli from his crib this morning. He was spread out on the changing table, sucking down juice, when I walked in. Misty had unzipped his pyjamas and unsnapped his onesie prior to changing the very dirty diaper.

Eli looked up at me. “Daddy turn change diaper?”

“All yours!” Misty chirped as she […]

Signposts for Neglect

In the TV show we were watching last night, one of the main characters had been on the road a lot. Back home at last, the character was talking with his wife when their young daughter ran in, upset. The dad tried to confort the daughter, who pushed him away and went to the mom […]

Love as a Full-Contact Sport

Eli has taken to greeting me in the morning and when I get home from work by running straight at me and throwing his arms around my legs, letting his huge toddler head ram into me.

The top of his head is level with my belt.

Being Stalked

When Eli was younger than he is now, he had a strong preference for Misty. He would play with me happily enough, but it was an on-again, off-again sort of thing, the father-baby equivalent of being grade-school secret friends.

With that in mind, I give you the following short scene.


Night has […]


I had a dream last night. Eli had done something — I don’t know what, but it was wrong, and I had told him so, and he’d nodded and not really paid attention in the way he does. I was filled with rage, at his ignoring me, at him not understanding his wrongness. I wanted […]

A New Blog for Everyone

Since Eli’s feeling better, I’m going to let him tell this next bit of news.

hi this is eli, sorry i haven’t been blogging lately, i have new train sets and they are fun. plus computers are for the cookie monster game, if you haven’t played it, you totally should.

anyway i thought i would tell you […]