Being Stalked

When Eli was younger than he is now, he had a strong preference for Misty. He would play with me happily enough, but it was an on-again, off-again sort of thing, the father-baby equivalent of being grade-school secret friends.

With that in mind, I give you the following short scene.

GRANADE HOUSEHOLD, JANUARY 11, 6:47 PM

Night has fallen. STEPHEN is in the bathroom, door closed, when he hears ELI calling.

ELI
Where daddy?

STEPHEN
I’m in the bathroom. I’ll be out in a minute.

ELI
(knocking)
knock knock knock

STEPHEN
No, really, I’m in the bathroom!

ELI
Daddy! DADDY! DADDY!

STEPHEN

ELI
DADDY! WHERE DADDY? DADDY!

The sounds of sobbing can be heard through the bathroom door.

STEPHEN
It’s okay, Eli! I’ll be out in a minute! Hang on!

ELI

The silence unnerves STEPHEN. Then he sees tiny tiny fingers slipping under the bathroom door.

ELI
DADDY! KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! DADDY? WHERE DADDY? DAAAAAAAAADDY!

Spurred on by the obvious distress in ELI’s voice, STEPHEN hurries and comes out of the bathroom.

STEPHEN
Here I am!

ELI
Mommy? Where mommy?

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5 Comments

  1. on January 12, 2006 at 3:17 pm | Permalink

    Aw. Kids. They tug at your heartstrings just before plunging in the knife.

    Samantha’s latest tactic, when I tell her to do something she doesn’t want to do, is to first resist as much as possible, and then comply, followed by loudly announcing that I’m no longer her friend and/or that I am a mean daddy.

  2. on January 12, 2006 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

    Then he sees tiny tiny fingers slipping under the bathroom door.

    The first thing I thought of when I read that line was back when we first banished the cat from the bedroom, the kitty would whine and poke his paw under the door. The look on ‘s was heartbreaking whenever this happened.

    At least, if nothing else, if a similar scenario happens with Embie, we should be hard-hearted and used to that specific tug-on-the-heartstrings tactic. Right? Right?

  3. on January 12, 2006 at 5:00 pm | Permalink

    That’s common in our family, too. Except the conversation goes like this:

    Child: You aren’t my friend no more!
    Adult: I never was! I am your _____ (fill in the blank with mommy, daddy, aunt, cousin, etc)

    I hate to admit it, but it usually infuriated the kid even more. I have yet to hear any of them reply with “Okay, you aren’t my ___ anymore, either!” though.

  4. on January 12, 2006 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    Mwahahaha! Child or shepherd?

  5. anonymous
    on January 13, 2006 at 8:44 am | Permalink

    Though a grandparent, I can still remember my own childhood quite well. I particularly remember one aunt, when my (female) cousins would use the “mean mommy” accusation, consistently replying “Well I should be. I went to ‘mean mommy’ school!” While not effective at ending the whines/accusations, it obviously made an impression. The generation that heard it has made it family lore and employed it themselves.

    Eli’s Pop