An Apology for Eli

Here lately Eli has been very two. On occasion he acts as if he is two times four, which is not eight in the topsy-turvy world of toddler math, but whine. The answer to every question is “No!” For instance:

Me: Would you like some of this pizza?
Eli: No!
Me: It’s really good!
Eli: Noooooo!
Misty: Look, we can eat some of it together. Yum.
Eli: No, mama, no!
(I take away the pizza)
Eli: My pizza! MY PIZZAAAAH! MY PIZZAH AH AH AH *choked sob* WHERE MY PIZZA?

Wherever I’ve lived, locals have told me, “Don’t like the weather? Wait five minutes and it’ll change!” So it is with the many moods of Eli. He can become distraught for reasons that only toddler logic can explain.

I was in Orlando for the first part of this week on business. Wednesday I was waiting for my plane from Orlando to Huntsville. Across from me was a family, including a boy who was about six and a girl who was about two. The girl had a pacifier in her mouth and was running around shrieking loudly. “Come here,” her mom said. “Do you want a hug?”

“SHRIEK!” said the girl.

“You’ll go into time out. Do you want to go into time out?”

“SHRIEK!”

“You need to calm down.”

“SHRIEK!”

“These people are going to be glad when we board the plane,” mom said to dad. They all laughed. We laughed, too, through gritted teeth. The girl continued to run around and shriek until it was time for them to go.

So, Eli: I’m sorry. Feel free to refuse things and then cry about them going away. I had no idea how mild you were really being.

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