Soy Considered Harmful

Posted by Stephen on December 13th, 2006 at 7:51 AM

I was frightened last night to learn that soy saps our precious bodily fluids and turns our manly boys into limp-wristed pantywaist homosexuals. There’s been some editing to the article since I saw it last night: originally the title was “A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals.”

It’s since been changed to “Soy is making kids ‘gay’,” which is at least more readable if no less ridiculous. Still, I’m a parent now. I can’t take the chance that I’ll give Eli the gay. Sorry, dad, you can’t have soy milk the next time you come.

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10 Comments »

Comment by Misty

Wow! 1,306,313,812 Chinese must be wrong!!

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 8:29 am

Comment by Pop

The Chinese (not to exclude ALL Southeast Asians and the Japanese) must also have a HUGE closet! Maybe that explains sumo wrestlers! Thanks, Stephen, for saving me from myself. I was wondering why my beard was thinning, my interest in art increasing, and my interst in….nope, better not finish that sentence.

Pop

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 9:07 am

Comment by duchess

Oh no! I’ve already been giving Alim soy!

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 9:12 am

Comment by Joyous

It’s amazing how these people don’t see how they’re satirizing themselves–this reads like an Onion article.

I especially love all the references to “research” with no citations of any kind.

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 10:35 am

Comment by Joyous

A much better-researched article on the possible health risks of soy can be found here: http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/food/soy_story.html

The author manages to present reasoned ideas and not sound like a frothing maniac. The response letters are interesting too.

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 11:11 am

Comment by missy

Wow. Brett was allergic to milk as a child and given, you guessed it, the poison milk. Now I know why he’s willing to wash dishes and doesn’t really like sports. He still can’t pick clothes that match, so I guess soy can’t change everything.

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 11:53 am

Comment by Misty

It seems to me that this is the same problem we had with eggs. They were GOOD! Then they were BAD! And now after several years, they are GOOD! again but only in moderation. Same with coffee. Same with alcohol.

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 12:54 pm

Comment by LB

What? Eli drinks alcohol?

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 3:38 pm

Comment by Misty

All the time. Can’t keep him out of the stuff.

Posted on December 13, 2006 at 6:33 pm

Comment by Rachel

Oh.
No wonder my voice has dropped an octave.

Posted on December 15, 2006 at 8:17 am

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