You’re listening to KLZA, your station in the mornings for dirty diapers. Tonight’s lineup includes breathing heavily from 10:30 P.M. until 12:00 midnight, followed by three hours of random cries and wheeps that are guaranteed to wake you up at odd intervals. At 3:00 A.M. we’ll have the half-hour crying-and-feeding show, and then an hour of a rocking chair’s squeaks and muffled snuffling. KLZA will then be off the air until 7:00 A.M. when we resume normal programming.

KLZA is supported by listeners like you and by Archer Daniels Midland Company. ADM. Because not everyone lives on breast milk.