I don’t really miss my old life. The life I had before I had kids. I enjoyed that life and it was fun. Stephen and I were married eight years before we decided it was time to have kids (well, ok, really he was in grad school but the other sounds better). But sometimes I remember the old life and miss it just a little bit.
Stephen and I are night owls. I was one before we got married and together we can manage to stay up ridiculously late doing pretty much nothing. That all changed though when Eli was born. For one thing, he had The Schedule like the ticking of a time bomb. If you messed with it, the bomb exploded. Part of that is good, because The Schedule made him easy to predict. The bad part was, we had to schedule around his Schedule. The Schedule meant that we had to go to bed at a reasonable hour so that we could meet the demands of The Schedule. Liza is already a bit more flexible. She sleeps longer at a stretch, even during the day, so her eating is a bit more adaptable. She tends to spend the evening hours tanking up for her long nighttime sleep, which is fine because by the time Eli is in bed all I want to do is sit in front of the TV and vegetate.
Last night reminded me of the good old days. Liza picked up a cold somewhere this past week. (I blame you Sci-Quest with all your dirty, dirty buttons to push!) And so, beginning at about 8 p.m. last night, she snuffled and snorted and whined about snuffling and snorting. She was better off when she was nursing but lying flat on her back was out of the question. Stephen put her swaddled in her car seat, hoping that the incline would do the trick. No luck.
So at about 11:30, he gave up and went to sit with her in her room. I went to sleep, thinking he would sleep with her in the recliner. I heard them mumbling about in there around 4 a.m. and so I got up to feed Liza and see how the night went. I found out that Stephen has been sitting straight up with her all night, that was the only way she could sleep. So he sat and read and rocked. I took over and he went to bed. While she was nursing and I was reading, it occurred to me that there have been other times in my life when I stayed up until 4 a.m. reading and thinking it was the good life.
I’m sad that I don’t get to read all night any more. I kinda miss that part of my life. I stayed up late as a kid to read and I guess it just never lost its naughtiness for me. But if I have to give up something to get these two cute kids, I think that maybe giving up staying up all night is probably worth it.