-Jan

I generally have a rule. Is whatever Z trying to do going to get him seriously hurt? (falling off a chair would hurt) If so, I say No. If not (his room would just be cluttered and things out of place), I let him have his way. It keeps him happier, it buys me a few minutes when he is engrossed in an activity, and there’s often a follow-up activity (let’s clean up! game).

My big problem has been not undermining J – he would say no, and I would say, enh, let him do it, it won’t hurt. Right now, it doesn’t really matter to a two year old, but the two of us need to get in sync before Z is old enough to say, “But Mommy said I could!”

I love those times when against all better judgement you suddenly find yourself saying yes and it spirals into some unbelievably fun adventure/learning thing.

Something along these lines occurred recently w/ allowing my 4 year old to unscrew a lightbulb – we spent a half hour talking about eclipses/ energy from the sun / planet temperature, etc.

—

Hey! Why don’t any of our lamps work any more?

I do think saying yes whenever possible is a good thing, as long as it doesn’t make you into a pushover. But I’ve seen y’all parent him, and … y’all are not pushovers.

I have a habit of sticking to plans even when they start to go bad, or when more interesting diversions beckon. Sometimes that’s good–keeps me on task. Sometimes it’s bad–I miss stuff. How to tell which is which is the hard part.