Let me not indulge in false modesty. I have amazing hair.

I easily have the hair of a woman twice my age. People cannot keep their hands off of it. They tousle it. They pet it. They say, “Liza, you have such beautiful hair. How do you get it to be so full, so shiny, so full of bounce and life?”

Usually I smile and coo, never divulging my secrets. But you, internet, all of you are my true friends. For you, I will tell you.

Banana.

Chunks of banana rubbed into your hair twice daily will provide necessary nutrients, and impart a shine to it that can be had no other way. Let it sit, so that your split ends and over-processed strands can soak up what it needs to be beautiful. Before you leave the house, wash it out of your hair to avoid the amorous attention of fruit bats.

Late post, I know but it’s been busy around here what with the weather and my Frankenstein laptop! (More on that later!)

Eli striking a pose! I actually got a photo of him with his eyes open and his mouth closed.

Liza doing what Liza loves best — Looking at books! As if in this household, she even got a choice on that one.

We were just driving home from a friend’s house. I was looking at the clouds back toward where our subdivision is and I thought to myself that it looked like a “funnel cloud.” I’ve never seen a funnel cloud before but it looked exactly like how I’ve always heard them described. It was moving pretty fast and by the time we got to our neighborhood it was well beyond us. As I was turning in, I got a good look at the clouds behind us and sure enough there was another one. I tried to get into the house to get my camera but by the time I got the kids in and got the camera, it had moved on as well. As I was settling Eli into bed for a nap, the weather warning sirens went off. They were a little too late for my taste.

All this after I watched a video on a weather website this morning about how most people’s chances of seeing a tornado is under 4% for their whole lifetime and that’s if they live in places like Oklahoma and Kansas. It’s lower than 1% if you live in the Northwest or New England.

So now that I’ve seen two funnel clouds in one day, does that mean I’ve seen my weather for my lifetime?

In case you missed it, here’s Liza’s rather narrow perspective on life:
I Can’t Imagine Why Anybody Would Want To Stop Crying.

Ok, really it’s an Onion article, but this part sounds exactly like Liza:

Take my parents, for example. If it wasn’t for my tireless efforts, they’d sleep through the night! Can you believe it? I don’t think it’s because they’re too old—I suppose I don’t know how old they are exactly, but I can’t imagine it’s any more than, say, one. They’ve still got plenty of life in them. Yet they hardly ever cry, and when they do, it’s usually softly, in the middle of the night, and exhausted-sounding. What happened to their lust for life? Don’t they realize that every moment they waste sleeping, fiddling with the car seat, or holding picture books in front of my face is precious time they could be screaming their heads off?

Before I had kids, I swore I would listen to MY music in the car. Ain’t nobody gonna tell me what to listen to or that it’s too loud!

Now I have kids and we listen to children’s music in the car. There’s a reason why and I’ll let you in on a not-so-secret secret. People learn by repetition. If we listen to “adult” music in the car there’s just so many new-to-them songs coming at the kids they start to be overwhelmed. It’s taken me 20+ years to learn all these lyrics, so understandably kids need some time to catch up. If they have their own music, it narrows down the playing field so they are better able to cope.

Now finding kids music that doesn’t make me want to gouge out my own eardrums after 40-50 listenings is a huge deal. I heartily dislike lots of children singing off key. It’s cute if it’s my kid but otherwise, I’m not interested. I think it’s probably good for children to hear other kids singing (my sister-in-law, Joy, can probably even tell you why) but all the time in the car, forget about it. I also have this thing about real instruments. Yes, keyboards are instruments (I grew up listening to Howard Jones for crying out loud) but when the entire song is fake horn hits and drum line I don’t think the kids are getting a realistic idea of what instruments sound like. So with just those two requirements, I’ve narrowed down the field to something like 20 albums. How sad is that?

Here are a few of our favs that I’m not ashamed for other adults to know that I listen to and, gasp, even enjoy:

Slugs and Bugs and Lullabies
Rick gave us this album before Liza was born and I’m sorry to say that we only started listening to it a couple of months ago. Since then it’s been on continuous play both in our car and in our heads. “Tractor, Tractor” is the family favorite since both Eli and Liza’s name can be inserted into the lyric and then commentary on what they are doing to follow. My favorite right now, “Liza, Liza dancing all the time! Liza, Liza dancing all the time! Dancing all the time, dancing all the time! Liza, Liza dancing all the time!” Liza obediently starts doing her knee bendy dance when we sing it.

Sing Along with Putumayo
I think this CD might have come from Joy. Real artists! Using real instruments! Also, once you hear “Banana Phone” you’ll never look at your cell phone in the same way again.

Folk Playground
This one has some classic songs that I remember singing as a kid and then a few I didn’t know. “Sheep” will make you giggle and “It’s All How You Look At It” will give you a little tear in your eye. We use this one for dance party at our house fairly regularly.

Dreamland
This is Liza’s nap music. I bought it for $2 when the Kindermusik site was closing out it’s toy selection. I bought a half dozen because I knew it would be good and I’d want to share it with other parents. I was so right. I love sitting in Liza’s room and hearing these songs. They now make me sleepy and dreamy by association.

Victor Vito
This is the album we own but truthfully, anything by Berkner is great. She ran videos on Noggin for a while and her infectious smile is a complete winner. Our favorite from this album hands down is “Moon, moon, moon.”

Again
This is an Arkansas singer that both my mom and step-mom found the same Christmas. We have the Christmas record and “…A kid like you” but “Again” is the best one. He does break my kid singing rule on a regular basis but I give him a pass for “Hip, Hip Hooray.”

We also like a number of songs by Dan Zanes but don’t own any of his albums.

If you have a favorite kid’s record, I’d love to know what it is. It’s always nice to have some new tunes when you cruise around in the springtime with the windows open, even if it is with two car seats in the back.

If you haven’t already, you must go play You Have to Burn the Rope. Right now.

This is May’s recipe for grits and truthfully I don’t make it often enough. This dish is yummy with a grilled pork chop or chicken. Tastes great for breakfast the next morning too. I actually prefer them for breakfast. Or is that lunch? Or maybe snack? Usually the whole bowl is gone before dinner the next night…

1 cup quick grits
1 stick butter
2 eggs
1 lb of cheese
salt and pepper to taste

Bring 4 cups of water to a boil. Add grits, cook for 5 minutes. Remove from heat; add butter, eggs and cheese. Bake in a greased dish at 350° for 30-35 minutes or until mostly set.

Today is the last day of Liza breastfeeding. I’ve had bittersweet feelings about the end all week.

With Eli, I was ready for it to be over. He was too busy to sit in my lap and nurse. He had to be there! Right now! There were things to do! And toys to play with! Nursing cramped his style and because of that, it was a big hassle for me. So I said goodbye to that stage with Eli with no hard feelings. He was my first child so I was ready for the next stage of his independence.

It’s different with Liza. She’s been an excellent nurser. For a while now she has greeted me after nap with the sign for milk and a hopeful gleam in her eye. She’s always liked the milk and she’s been good at staying on task while eating. She would do it quickly and then be ready for a couple of games of peek-a-boo or patty cake. The best part is when she is nursing she’s too busy to let out that bone melting screech. And Liza? She has enough independence for three children. Her needing to nurse is something that I could actually do for her that she couldn’t do herself.

Also, this is it for me. No more babies to nurse. We are at capacity at Casa Granade and it is good. But I’m finding it harder to let the nursing go because of that.

A few days ago, our friends Aaron and Joyce had a baby. They are caught up in the first baby newness of it all. Zachary Xavier is being a difficult nurser and Joyce is tired and worried. I remember those days with Eli when every three hour segment of the day was the longest of emotional roller coaster rides. And now here I am at the end of this particular ride and for a few moments I almost want to get back in line and go again.

The phrase “our guest needs no introduction” is inevitably followed by a five-minute introduction.

Friday night, Battlestar Galactica returned. Baltar got smacked upside the face with theodicy, and everyone was paranoid and broken.

Saturday night, Kansas beat UNC, and did so convincingly despite letting UNC get to within three points after being up 40 to 12. It’s nice to see Roy Williams’s team fall to the school he left, and did so in a way that left a lot of hard feelings.

If three new episodes of Pushing Daisies show up tonight, it will have been the perfect weekend of TV entertainment for me.