It’d Be Easier If He Had Garanimals

This morning Misty slept in, leaving me in charge of Eli. At some point we had been up long enough that even I realized it was time for Eli to change out of his dinosaur pyjamas and into something more suited for the daytime, like his dinosaur shirt. “Let’s go change!” I told him.

When I opened his closet, Eli said, “I wanna blue shirt.” I pulled out his blue WHOI shirt, a perennial favorite. “No, I wanna blue shirt.” I pulled out the next blue shirt. “No, daddy, I wanna blue shirt.” It was like playing a text adventure with bad disambiguation. “Which shirt do you want?” I asked Eli. “The blue shirt, the blue shirt, the blue shirt, or the blue shirt?” I finally found the exact blue shirt he wanted: the one with lizards and frogs on it. I added a dark brown pair of shorts and voilà! A perfect summer ensemble.

Eli went to play in the living room while I went in the kitchen to empty the dishwasher. A few minutes later I heard an anguished cry. “Daddy, my pants!” I ran back to the living room. His brown shorts were standing up on their own, completely toddler-free. My pantsless son sat behind them, staring, sad trembly lip in full force.

The good news is that, since we live in Alabama, it’s okay if he runs around in only a diaper.

2 thoughts on “It’d Be Easier If He Had Garanimals

  1. Very much, except they didn’t run around. It also reminded me of this segment on Sesame Street where the monsters do the Monster Pants Dance. A pair of empty pants with eyes come in and exhort everyone to “wiggle, wiggle, JUMP!”

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