Nostalgia Web Hosting

Dear The Internet,

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I was going to open a business offering nostalgia web hosting. It would be where people who really wish their sites looked like a 1998 Geocities page would come.

The question: what features should this company offer? A free Under Construction .gif with every new account? Frames so you can have a scrollable side menu?

11 thoughts on “Nostalgia Web Hosting

  1. The ability to turn off BLINK on any desired line of text.

    (I didn’t expect your web site to *not escape* that tag…)

  2. To fully fit the bill, you would mandate, just like dialup ISPs of the time, that all customer sites fit within a three megabyte account limit. They’d then figure out insane ways to make that 3MB stretch. Remember “The Farm”? Yeah, a meg and a half, tops. 🙂

  3. Free under construction sign (black and yellow).
    Frames support.
    Suggest ‘web rings’ the site can join.

  4. A hit counter I can put into my cgi-bin, preferably generating graphics that look like a vintage flip-style nightstand alarm clock.

    Embeddable “Search the World Wide Web (WWW)!!!” boxes, one for each hot web search engine: AltaVista, Lycos, HotBot, you know, the big guys.

    If you have time, an animated GIF of a mailbox opening and a letter flying into it that I can use as my mailto: link graphic.

  5. Links in your choice of blue, red, or purple.
    Tiled background graphics at least 600 pixels square.
    A “Last updated” dating back to the Clinton Administration.

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