Caution: Student Driver

The following story contains references to vomit. In fact, the very first sentence of this blog post proper contains the word “vomit”. Read on at your own peril.

At the end of last week we were the House of Vomit. On Thursday Eli got some kind of stomach bug that involved him throwing up every thirty minutes or so. He threw up so much that we had to make a game of it. “Grab your bowl! Can you hit it? Can you keep it all in your bowl? Good job!” And then Misty would run off to have a sympathy vomit of her own.

A number of our friends have been kind enough to supply us with food in this, our time of trouble. Amy and Rick and Jessica and Remy and Hallie have given us dinner, since the smell of food being prepared brings on Misty’s hurling. There’s a narrow window of opportunity for her to eat before, like the Bay of Fundy’s tides, the flow of food will reverse.

Aren’t you glad I keep talking about vomit? Thrill with me, Internet, at our tales of gastrointestinal distress!

Thursday Amy came over with soup. Eli decided to charm her by putting his brain on speakerphone and connecting all of his thoughts together with the word “and”. “I have cars and there is a track in my room and you put them down and they go VROOM and they drive around and around and around and and and you wait and then the light is green and green means go.”

Amy, bemused, asked, “And what does red mean?”

“Red means STOP!”

“And what does yellow mean?”

Eli looked puzzled. “No, not yellow, orange. Orange means GO FASTER!” And he pumped his arms like he was running very fast.

3 thoughts on “Caution: Student Driver

  1. No, when he’s 16, all of his phrases will be connected with “but.” As in, “But Mom, all the other kids are doing it!”

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